just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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