New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
