Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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