i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
