My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize