Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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