She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
