Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
