Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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