just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
