haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
