Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT