in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
