What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
