Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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