A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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