Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
nutella sex= disaster
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
