In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
