I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
