i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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