dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
