y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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