so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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