I can't watch pbs sober anymore
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
