in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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