Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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