hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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