I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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