I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
