Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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