I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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