you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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