Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I want to fling myself into the sun
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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