you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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