My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
