I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
