You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
