I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
