Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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