You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
