one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
