I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize