How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
