Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she woke up with a sticky ear
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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