if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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