Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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