Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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