make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
