she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
