I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
