bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
