I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
