I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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