We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
