Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
