He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
they're like a gay fantastic four
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
