She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
