Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
