We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
