Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
