her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
