Porn is love you can see.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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