So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
