Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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