She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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